When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
The quote above is one of my favorite statements for the way I live my life, and the way I believe life should be lived. Many people in life feel stuck in situations or lifestyles they don’t want or are tired of living… what stops them from changing things?
The answer is very simple, they are stopping themselves, they are the only ones who can change. Being your own change agent or rainmaker is easier than one might think. I’m not saying change is easy, most change is not easy, but it’s also not outside of even the most ordinary human’s grasp.
Change causes stress, all change causes stress. There is good stress and there is bad stress, but each day we are confronted with stress. It’s up to us to decide if that stress is positive or negative. You may be asking, “How do I decide that, it’s out of my control?” The decision starts with this question… and the answer is much easier to come by than you may think.
No matter what happens to us in life we decide how those events are going to shape us, how they’re going to change or not change our lives. Good stress is “Look at all of these delicious cookies, how am I going to be able to eat them all.” Bad stress is “I am in a situation that I no longer like, how do I get out of it.” Stress doesn’t know the difference between good or bad, it’s just stress – both of the above situations could be deemed as either positive or negative – we pick the flavor.
By changing the way we look at situations, and approaching them with the same clear headed, logical, calm, and introspective means we can learn to train our minds to see stress as neutral and remove the cloud of negative emotions that accompany stress we deem as bad. We decide how we see things, we decide how we react, we are in complete control of everything inside of us, and we are in complete control of everything that happens outside of us as well.
Don’t like your job? Stop thinking about how much you hate it and look for a new one. Feel stuck in your relationship? Make your feelings known, attempt to change the situation and if you’re unable, then change your role in the relationship. We are always in control of changing ourselves, and we are never in control of changing others. Through the control we have over ourselves, we are also in control of our external world as well – nobody can force you to do anything, only you can decided your own actions.
Sometimes in life we need to make our own rain, we need to attract our own lightning, or we need to be the catalyst in our own situations and affect change on something or someone by our own actions. This begins by removing the dichotomy between good stress and bad stress – stress is stress it has no positive or negative value, only the value you place on it.
Each day we change, each day we are different than we were the day before. Each day we also decided how that change is shaped and what it looks and feels like – today be your own rainmaker, be your own lightning rod and decide what the rest of your day, week, month, and life are going to look like. Only you control your future, don’t be fooled into thinking anyone or anything else can. Don’t buy into the notion that stress is negative, stress is what you decide it will be.
You are the only change agent you need in your life. Be honest, be courageous, be strong – there will never be a day when you’re out of options. There will never be a day when you’re out of answers… look within, everything you need to make the next right decision exists within… you just need the courage to find it.